Lemon is away on a business trip, traveling to California. He’s gone for a week. But it feels like he has already been away for a long time now.
I am being a bag of mixed emotions since Sunday. At one moment I feel stress and pain. Another moment I am all happy and chatting with friends. One moment, I am silent, the other moment I am totally mad. Sunday was so awesome. Monday was all blue. My life is such a colorful chaos now.
I thought I could get through most part of the day with the usual chores without him. Whatever seemed easy while he was around is not so easy now. Things have changed. Everything seems difficult. Evenings and the dark nights seem to move very slowly. Sleeping in the same room without Lemon scares me. I keep waking up every now and then to make sure that everything is okay, that no stranger is inside the house. Silly uh? No! I am scared. Really. Our apartment is right next to the highway and the sounds of an ambulance or a cop-car makes me wake up with a start in the middle of the night. I wonder how the same sound did not disturb me while Lemon was around. The fact the mother-in-law is here now makes me feel better, though.
I have been trying to stay less anxious. I wanted to be that girl who wouldn’t care much about her husband’s absence. I did not want to cry or be dramatic. I wanted to be cool and take it easy. But, I GIVE UP now. I MISS HIM. I miss my Lemon. My dear husband.
Come back soon, Lemon. Come back with a biG gift!