Final letter to my Grandmother

Dear paati,

I miss you so much already. You were and will always be my favorite. You were my EVERYTHING since my childhood. My first love! My role model! My first fan! You left me and this world around 6pm on Feb 24th 2024 and I’m writing this letter as I fly to India to see you one last time.

You were a very very special person in my life. You sacrificed a lot for me. I was blessed to have you as my paati and you loved me and showed abundant care and love that no other granddaughter would have ever received from her grandmother.

My childhood memories with you are still fresh and I will never forget all you did for me – Right from soothing me whenever I cried or got hurt, making sure you were home when I got back from school, making sure my favorite after-school snack was ready everyday, making sure I got ready on time for my evening classes, making sure I walked safely on the sidewalk in the busy roads, making sure you stood where I could see you when you came to pick me up from my classes, making sure I’m not getting tanned playing in the sun, making sure you knew all my friends and making sure I was comfortable wherever I was. You did everything!!! I am who I am today because of you.

There is not a single close friend of mine who doesn’t know you. Some close ones even now remember how much I have troubled you while eating food. They still remember how we used to run behind each other (actually you chasing me) with my food plate all over the street. I was such a naughty little girl! I wouldn’t eat anything but you had so much patience to feed me and take care of me every single day.

Oh I’ll admit! I hated you when you started liking Lemon more than me after marriage. The first thing you asked me every time we spoke the past 14 years is “how’s Lemon”! 🙂 Lemon and I are both forever grateful for all your love and care.

I miss you so much paati. No other grandmother-granddaughter relationship in this world could ever be equivalent to ours! Our relationship has been the bestest!

You may have passed on now but your memories will always be with me. I will never forget you. I will never stop loving you.

We were a small-family-of-four. Both you and Amma have now left this world. Please give strength to me and appa to live in this world without the two of you. We need your blessings.

Love,

Lavender

Saturday Scribbles

I decided to relax today. I woke up late. I made lunch and went to my favorite salon. I had my hair retextured, came back home and ate lunch.

From wavy hair….

…to straight hair

Come afternoon, I got ready and went to hospital to visit Appa. While I was there, Appa wanted to talk to the kids… So video call it was! Thatha and pethi were talking and I used the opportunity to make Lily practice her Carnatic music swaras since she has a vocal test tomorrow.

That’s Lily and me practicing music via video call 😅

I wanted to go shopping in the evening but was too tired to do anything… so I picked up pizza on my way home for our dinner…

And this was our dinner today….

When we all finished dinner, I got a call from P and she said her car broke down and she is stuck with her kids at a gas station…We jumped to help them! While P was waiting in the gas station and getting her car fixed, her kids came to our place to play with Lime and Lily.

Since the kids were all hungry, I made pasta for their dinner…

Kids just finished their dinner and are all happily playing together… I’m sitting in my favorite spot in the house and writing this post.. Will P’s car get fixed on time? Will the kids be more hungry after a while? Will I get to watch a movie tonight? Will I do anything more today? I don’t know!

You all peeps just stay tuned to know more…

#Blogathon2023

Ten on Tuesday

I have been feeling pretty low for the last couple days (again!). Everyday scares me to the point of becoming paranoid. Some say I am a natural worrier!! During challenging times like these, it becomes especially important for me to count my blessings. Otherwise I will lose all perspectives.. right? So, I’m going to list down my blessings today. All things I feel good about –

1. I am alive! And I love my life and the way I live! I have the sweetest parents and the greatest husband ever!
2. I am blessed with two beautiful children! They are my world!
3. I am reasonably healthy! I had a great childhood and an innocent transition to adulthood. I never had to worry about anything as a child/teenager. Everything was taken care of for me.
4. I went to a great school and a good college. My school days were quiet and my college days were busy. The toughest hardship I faced was being forced to travel to Mumbai for my first job when I wanted to quit it and stay in Madras.
5. I love to dream and can enter my dreamland any second!
6. I have couple people in the family who I can call even at 3 AM and not get yelled at. I have 4 close friends with whom I can share anything and everything. I have many other friends who I can go shopping with, watch a movie or just chat.
7. I am a proud owner of a newly constructed house. I love my house and I enjoy decorating/admiring it each day.
8. I love to travel and have worked in 6 cities, 2 countries and 2 continents.  I am good at what I do and great at picking new skills!
9. I can walk into any store (be it expensive ones or the thrift store kinds), and shop whatever my heart fancies. I love shopping that much. My wardrobe is so full and overflowing but I cannot let go anything.
10. I like to write and blessed to have you all stop by (you lurkers too!) and appreciate me.

I have more to add to the list but I will stop here for today… I hope you guys will feel inspired to share a similar list in your blog or put in your comments in the space below.

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It all starts again

Good News: Appa does not have cancer. All tests came back negative.

Bad News: We have to admit him back in the hospital tonight to do additional tests/scanning for diagnosis.

I am not sure if I must be happy or sad. Although they have ruled out the scary disease, he still has something… they now think it could be some kind of infection.

Hmmm…. I’m tired already. I will have to juggle between home, work and hospital from tomorrow. I have to do this for Appa! I have to stay strong for him! God please give me strength. Please cure appa soon!

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My School Memories

The School Bag 💼 . I see myself struggling to close the zipper. Oh! The school bag looks old but I still love carrying it to school everyday.

The Green Water Bottle 💦. I see myself picking a matching green towel and keeping it along with my green bottle in my green lunch bag. Oh! The bottle is small but it has enough water to keep me hydrated through the day.

The School Badge 🪪. I see myself feeling proud. Oh ouch! The pin hurts but I love the color of the badge and wear it with a smile.

Her Long Hair. I see myself admiring her hair as she stands in front of me in the line! Oh! My hair is not short but how I wish I had such a long hair like her.

The Games Period 🏐. I see withdrawing myself from all sports activity. Oh! I’m not athletic and hated this 40 minute period every Wednesday.

The Exams 📙. I see myself with my math book, sitting under my favorite tree and studying. Oh! I love math and my math teacher.

The Candle Light Ceremony 🕯️. I see myself in white saree carrying candle and singing school hymns. Oh how I love this day even today!

The Back-Gate. I see myself walking towards the back gate to go home. Oh! The path to the back school gate is just so wonderful. I love the pink flowers, the huge tamarind tree, the school hostel, and the kindergarten children.

The Canteen. I see myself entering the canteen with my friends. We buy 1 small samosa packet and share with each other. Oh! I love the taste! It is yummy! I see myself having fun!

The Old Hall. I see myself in the hall attending the morning prayer. Oh! I love this hall and we are singing my favorite hymn.

….to be continued.

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This counts

Today was busy. Kids and I performed at a Pongal dance festival. It was a huge get-together and we had so much fun. I’m too tired to write about it now and with just 2 minutes left for the day, I’m excusing myself !

Hey you! Yes you reading this post – it still counts for the Blogathon okay? Okay!!

I’ll leave you all with a picture –

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Of thoughts and feelings

Nap time which I once thought was a punishment feels like a vacation now

Fast food which I once thought is bad food is now my favorite

Work which I once thought was boring is now keeping me super busy

Presenting in front of a crowd which I once thought was scary comes easily to me now

Kids which I once thought were troublesome is now my life

Perfect husband which I once thought was a dream is now real

Family which I once thought are always questioning is now my answer to everything

Friends which I once had very few are now plenty

Movies which I once watched only once or twice a year is like a everyday routine these days

Commute which was once very long and tiring is now only few steps

Kitchen which I once thought was off limits is now the place where I spend most of my time at home

Dance which I once thought was hard is all super way now. I’m performing this Saturday at a Pongal celebration

Online shopping which I once thought I’d never do is now my favorite pass time

Blogging which I once thought I’ll never resume has become a regular habit now!

That’s it! I’ll stop now! Ciao folks!

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p.s.: This post is from my drafts and I’ve no idea if I posted this in my blog long long ago😬🙈😁

Inhale. Exhale.

I woke up late today!

I asked kids to buy school lunch.

I sent them in school bus and started cooking lunch for the rest of us at home. Vengaya Sambhar, chow chow thogaiyal and kovakka fry it was!

I logged into work on time and attended back to back meetings all morning.

I was tired by lunch time. So, I asked Lemon to heat up my lunch and I ate the food. Every time I took a bite I was so proud of how nicely I had cooked food for the family! 🥹

I attended some more back to back meetings in the afternoon. One meeting was an impromptu call with a colleague who wanted to speak to me about program management. He said he is interested in program management roles and wanted to talk to me about this career path. He asked me so many questions that this meeting felt more like an interview than a conversation to me 🤦🏼‍♀️

I logged out around 5 pm and went straight to the kitchen to cook dinner. I wanted to make something special for the kids. I made paneer curry. Just when I finished cooking, Lemon came to the kitchen to tell me that pav bhaji bread is expiring today and so we should eat pav bhaji for dinner. Huh? Why did I make the paneer? For whom? And why are you telling me this only now? I was so angry at him!! I transferred the paneer curry to a bowl, put it in the fridge, asked lemon to do whatever he wants and walked out of the kitchen.

After a while, we all ate the pav bhaji that Lemon made. And I’ll admit! It was super yummy!

We finished dinner by 7. Lemon and Lime got ready and left home for basket ball practice while me and Lily stayed home.

And it was mommy-daughter bonding time. So here’s what we did –

The mehendi turned out to be super black. At this point, I’m not even sure if this was a natural mehendi… I got it at the Indian store!. Lily likes it but I don’t!

That’s it for today guys! See you all tomorrow…. Yaaawwwwnnnn!

#Blogathon2023

Small moments

That moment when you realize you don’t have to cook for the day

That moment when you get a sense of relief after a lot of tension

That moment when you meet your best friends

That moment when you eat lots of good food and enjoy lot of good company

That moment when you play games with friends and family

That moment when you step out only to realize it’s been snowing and you now have to clean the car/driveway before heading out

That moment when you watch tv until 4 AM in the morning

That moment when you wake up late and do nothing

That moment when you goto a one year old birthday party and love spending time with baby

That moment when you run from one dance practice to another

That moment when you realize the long weekend is over

That moment when you realize that there are still lot of unknowns in life

That moment when you realize you have a presentation on Thursday and you have not prepared anything

That moment when you realize you are still scared of what is going to happen next

That moment when you decide to let all tension go

That moment when you post everything in your blog and sign out for the day!

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Picture Sunday

Pongalooo pongal!

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