Final letter to my Grandmother

Dear paati,

I miss you so much already. You were and will always be my favorite. You were my EVERYTHING since my childhood. My first love! My role model! My first fan! You left me and this world around 6pm on Feb 24th 2024 and I’m writing this letter as I fly to India to see you one last time.

You were a very very special person in my life. You sacrificed a lot for me. I was blessed to have you as my paati and you loved me and showed abundant care and love that no other granddaughter would have ever received from her grandmother.

My childhood memories with you are still fresh and I will never forget all you did for me – Right from soothing me whenever I cried or got hurt, making sure you were home when I got back from school, making sure my favorite after-school snack was ready everyday, making sure I got ready on time for my evening classes, making sure I walked safely on the sidewalk in the busy roads, making sure you stood where I could see you when you came to pick me up from my classes, making sure I’m not getting tanned playing in the sun, making sure you knew all my friends and making sure I was comfortable wherever I was. You did everything!!! I am who I am today because of you.

There is not a single close friend of mine who doesn’t know you. Some close ones even now remember how much I have troubled you while eating food. They still remember how we used to run behind each other (actually you chasing me) with my food plate all over the street. I was such a naughty little girl! I wouldn’t eat anything but you had so much patience to feed me and take care of me every single day.

Oh I’ll admit! I hated you when you started liking Lemon more than me after marriage. The first thing you asked me every time we spoke the past 14 years is “how’s Lemon”! 🙂 Lemon and I are both forever grateful for all your love and care.

I miss you so much paati. No other grandmother-granddaughter relationship in this world could ever be equivalent to ours! Our relationship has been the bestest!

You may have passed on now but your memories will always be with me. I will never forget you. I will never stop loving you.

We were a small-family-of-four. Both you and Amma have now left this world. Please give strength to me and appa to live in this world without the two of you. We need your blessings.

Love,

Lavender

And it comes to an END

Victory!!! 31 posts in 31 days!! I am impressed at myself! 😉 Can’t believe the Blogathon is over ~ 31 days of continuousness. 31 days of dedication! 31 days of writers block! 31 days of fun! 31 days of staying in touch with fellow bloggers! 31 days of loving this space of mine!

Last year, I was too busy living my life, to actually write about it. Whenever I came here, I felt like I had little too much to write about and just gave up. This year, I want to take the time to write. So, I have started with this Blogathon. What I love the MOST about the Blogathon is the discipline that comes with this commitment and of course reading all my favorite blogs.

Thanks to her for initiating this and thank you to her, her and her for a whole month of entertainment!! I may not have commented in each and every one of your posts but I plan on reading them all again and commenting very soon.

My blog is deeply personal and everything I write here is very important to me. Although not very detailed, I promise to update this space as much as I can. I may not come back tomorrow but will definitely be back here very soon.

#Blogathon2023

My School Memories

The School Bag 💼 . I see myself struggling to close the zipper. Oh! The school bag looks old but I still love carrying it to school everyday.

The Green Water Bottle 💦. I see myself picking a matching green towel and keeping it along with my green bottle in my green lunch bag. Oh! The bottle is small but it has enough water to keep me hydrated through the day.

The School Badge 🪪. I see myself feeling proud. Oh ouch! The pin hurts but I love the color of the badge and wear it with a smile.

Her Long Hair. I see myself admiring her hair as she stands in front of me in the line! Oh! My hair is not short but how I wish I had such a long hair like her.

The Games Period 🏐. I see withdrawing myself from all sports activity. Oh! I’m not athletic and hated this 40 minute period every Wednesday.

The Exams 📙. I see myself with my math book, sitting under my favorite tree and studying. Oh! I love math and my math teacher.

The Candle Light Ceremony 🕯️. I see myself in white saree carrying candle and singing school hymns. Oh how I love this day even today!

The Back-Gate. I see myself walking towards the back gate to go home. Oh! The path to the back school gate is just so wonderful. I love the pink flowers, the huge tamarind tree, the school hostel, and the kindergarten children.

The Canteen. I see myself entering the canteen with my friends. We buy 1 small samosa packet and share with each other. Oh! I love the taste! It is yummy! I see myself having fun!

The Old Hall. I see myself in the hall attending the morning prayer. Oh! I love this hall and we are singing my favorite hymn.

….to be continued.

#Blogathon2023

And this happens everyday

She surprises me all the time with a letter or a drawing!

When I’m busy attending meetings, she takes a post-it note and writes “Amma I love you”.

When I’m cooking, she takes a marker and starts writing a letter to me. The letter will always say “Amma I love you”.

When I’m taking bath, she sits near the bathroom door and sings. When I come out, I’ll see a new post-it note that says “You are the best mom in the world!”.

When I’m in the family room watching a movie, she takes a paper and starts drawing a picture of me.

When I scold her, she smiles or cries and still says Amma I love you.

She is my darling Lily!! I love her to the moon and back.

The school was closed today because of a snow storm and this is what she drew while I was in a meeting ❤️

#Blogathon2023

Of thoughts and feelings

Nap time which I once thought was a punishment feels like a vacation now

Fast food which I once thought is bad food is now my favorite

Work which I once thought was boring is now keeping me super busy

Presenting in front of a crowd which I once thought was scary comes easily to me now

Kids which I once thought were troublesome is now my life

Perfect husband which I once thought was a dream is now real

Family which I once thought are always questioning is now my answer to everything

Friends which I once had very few are now plenty

Movies which I once watched only once or twice a year is like a everyday routine these days

Commute which was once very long and tiring is now only few steps

Kitchen which I once thought was off limits is now the place where I spend most of my time at home

Dance which I once thought was hard is all super way now. I’m performing this Saturday at a Pongal celebration

Online shopping which I once thought I’d never do is now my favorite pass time

Blogging which I once thought I’ll never resume has become a regular habit now!

That’s it! I’ll stop now! Ciao folks!

#Blogathon2023

p.s.: This post is from my drafts and I’ve no idea if I posted this in my blog long long ago😬🙈😁

From the past…

I was thinking a lot about the past today. A lot about how my Amma, Appa, Paati and I would spend time together. There were no major outings, no get togethers, no movies, no outside food, nothing fancy. But yet we enjoyed our little life! This post is about one such time! I’m posting it here because I want it to be part of my blog.

There are so many people in my life and I miss many of them. However, amongst all of them, these days I miss my Amma the most. And her silly behavior!

My Amma would be a perfect nominee for “I often embarrass my daughter” award…. if one such category ever existed.

Let me flashback to my high school days. I was this nerd who went to TNPCEE exam coaching center. Every weekend I went to the coaching center near my home. On my second week there, I noticed a boy in the class. He was cute, charming and had exceptional looks. I enjoyed noticing him secretly and I thought he was drool worthy!! All this thought motivated me to goto the coaching center every week. It took away the boredom and made me listen in the class. I’d sometimes go early or stay late just to not miss any chance to make eye contact with this boy.

After few weeks of admiration, I told my mom all about him. Being the only daughter, Amma was my best friend! I shared everything with her! No secrets! So, I told her all about how good looking he is. Amma was as excited as me and told me to show him to her when she comes to pick me up.

The following week, I left the class early. I saw Amma waiting outside for me and I ran to her. We both found a perfect spot to stand so I can show her the boy.

Soon, I saw him approaching us. When he was close enough, I whispered to Amma “this is him”. When he came close to her and when she was able to take a good look at him, she shook her head in disapproval and shouted for almost the whole earth to hear: “CHIIII! Ivan ah? He is not good looking at all!! Mother Nature, kill me now. I thought. I was super embarrassed that I did not even bother to wait for Amma. I left her alone and I ran home.

Did the boy hear Amma? Did he see me run? What happened after that is a story for another day!

#Blogathon2023

U for USA

So this happened.

We had the privilege to join 600+ people from many different countries and became a U.S. CITIZEN today. It’s been quite a journey! I’m sooooooooo full of emotions now!

Will write all about this journey some other day.. for now, cheers everyone!!!

#Blogathon2020, #A-ZWriting, #USCitizen, #proud

S for Snow

Today is a beautiful day! The sun is out and the the snow is thick and glorious. The happiness this weather brings me has compelled me to mention a few thoughts about . . . SNOW.

There’s something definitely magical and playful about snow. Don’t you think? The individual snowflakes are so beautiful. They collectively fall from the sky. They pile up together on the ground. Get blown by the winds. Only to be swept up again into drifts. Silly? Yes? No!

When the flakes fall and cover the world with white softness, I always imagine that mother nature is pulling a white blanket on all those rose buds of tomorrow to rest. And then when you wake up to a winter wonderland following a snow storm, it signals playtime. Snowman building, snowball fights, snow tubing, ice skating……what’s not to enjoy!

I think my child-like wonder in watching snow fall has never left me and will not leave anytime soon! I love that snow gives me an excuse to sit by the fire and watch tv. I love that it is so quiet outside when it snows. I love that I do not have to dress up myself or the kids. I love that I do not have to do my hair or even fiddle with my make up. I love the feeling that everything can be put off one day and nothing needs to be done.

And most of all snow makes me nostalgic, brings back my childhood winter memories and allows me to create new and awesome ones for the kids.

#Blogathon2020, #A-ZWriting, #Winter

K for Keepsake

Keepsake is a very special thing that we keep to remind us of a person, or a place or a memory. It might have travelled with us in a suitcase from another country or we might have found it ourselves. It might have even been passed down through generations in the family. Whatever it is or however we got it, they are so special. Aren’t they?

Here’s a list of some of mine that is so close to my heart.

This hanuman picture from my Grandma is so special to me. I take this pic with me every vacation and to every long drive.

This one is from my dad… This is my favorite jewelry set. I wear it only on special occasions.

And this one is from my mom. I still remember the day we went shopping. This ring was not on our list of things to buy. Yet she got it for me just because it liked it. Ever since I’ve worn it everyday. It’s my favorite ring!

We have many souvenirs from so many travel, but my favorite is this one. I got this somewhere in New York. I never use it though! It’s just there for me to love and admire.

I have a few more special keepsakes but I’ll save it for another post.

#Blogathon2020, #A-ZWriting, #Keepsakes

F for Fairy Tales

Image Courtesy: Google

If I had a magical mirror, a fairy godmother, a golden egg laying goose or a wicked witch in my life, I will not ask for anything else but a wish to slow the time. Or even just a pause would help. Only to take a deep breath and freeze the way my babies are right now.

Before pregnancy people warned me that time would just fly away and that in a blink of an eye they would become adults. Lime is just 7 and Lily is just a toddler and it feels like time has already flown away in an accelerated pace.

Since I do not have a magical mirror or a fairy godmother or even a wicked witch in my life, I’m going to jot down some of the ways I can press the pause button myself.

#1: A magical wish to freeze time

I enjoyed being pregnant. Every morning I loved dressing up and showing my belly to Lemon. I even started a fashion blog on maternity! I did not mind the morning sickness nor the weight I gained. I just loved it all and created two babies.

So to freeze the moments and to enjoy every thing my kids do, I’m going to create journals. 2 journals, one for Lime and the other for Lily to record their crafts, drafts, achievements and of course pictures. Many many pictures.

#2: A magical wish to have more 1:1 times

Oh! There were those days when the little ones were just sticking to my skin. Wouldn’t go to anyone else. No daddy, no paati, no thattha. Only me. Me and them only. I miss those days now. Lily is so naughty and can never sit in one place. And Lime? OMG! What can I say! He can never spend a minute without troubling Lily.

So, Lemon and I are each going to take our own 1:1 times with them to love them, to make our own promises & keep them before they grow. (Of course I will get the maximum 1:1 time. But we will figure it out together!)

#3: A magical wish to be the best friend

Every evening as soon as I start cooking dinner, they both run to their play-kitchen. They bring me cheese, strawberries, French fries, corn, and cup cakes to eat with them. They also bring me toys, dolls, and a variety of other objects to engage me in play. Their face light up when I respond. But sometimes I get irritated and ask them to stop playing with me. Would they listen and stop? NO! One important factor about toddlers is that there is no such thing as too much scolding or too much repetition.

Before long they both will grow up and would not be interested in playing with me. They will have many friends of the same age with whom they will want to have fun. So I’m going to try as often as I can now to play with them.

#Blogathon2020, #A-Zwriting #fairytale