Ask your better half on a date

Dear Lemon,

The parcel was in your hands when the music stopped. You picked up a random slip to perform the dare. The slip read “Ask your better half on a date“. The minute you read the slip I knew this was very easy for you. I knew you would do it for sure. We have mocked this performance a thousand times before. At home. At Delhi. At our Engagement. At our Marriage. At our honeymoon. But that was all not in front of a big crowd.

So this time was different. Really different. There were 50 people around looking at us. I picked up Lime and lowered my eyes. You played your role, you asked for a date on one bent knee. The crowd shouted, ‘Of course!’ even before I answered ‘Yes’. Were we so obvious? It lasted for split seconds before we both burst into laughter.

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Must thank the event organizer who took this pic and captured the moment forever. There are so many other things that happened in the party. But this one is my special moment.

We laugh each time we see this pic. It looks pretty funny but genuine. This picture takes me back to this event and this very same moment. Playing ‘pass the parcel’ at a Diwali Meetup last Saturday was so much fun. 

May the good times never end!

Love,
Lavender
 
 

I miss him

Lemon is away on a business trip, traveling to California. He’s gone  for a week. But it feels like he has already been away for a long time now.

I am being a bag of mixed emotions since Sunday. At one moment I feel stress and pain. Another moment I am all happy and chatting with friends. One moment, I am silent, the other moment I am totally mad. Sunday was so awesome. Monday was all blue. My life is such a colorful chaos now.

I thought I could get through most part of the day with the usual chores without him. Whatever seemed easy while he was around is not so easy now. Things have changed. Everything seems difficult. Evenings and the dark nights seem to move very slowly. Sleeping in the same room without Lemon scares me. I keep waking up every now and then to make sure that everything is okay, that no stranger is inside the house. Silly uh? No! I am scared. Really. Our apartment is right next to the highway and the sounds of an ambulance or a cop-car makes me wake up with a start in the middle of the night.  I wonder how the same sound did not disturb me while Lemon was around. The fact the mother-in-law is here now makes me feel better, though.

I have been trying to stay less anxious. I wanted to be that girl who wouldn’t care much about her husband’s absence. I did not want to cry or be dramatic. I wanted to be cool and take it easy. But, I GIVE UP now. I MISS HIM. I miss my Lemon. My dear husband.

Come back soon, Lemon. Come back with a biG gift!

 

Friday. Worry.

I am usually happy on Fridays. That Friday-feeling is so awesome you know. A feeling of joy. A feeling of weekend. A feeling of freedom. A feeling of happiness.

Well, this Friday has been so different. It was half past 4 when I woke up today. I was thirsty. I drank some water. Checked on Lime and tried to go back to sleep. But I couldn’t. I had truck load of thoughts in my mind as I tried to sleep…..

“Yesterday was a boring day. Okay. Okay. That does not mean today would be boring too. Dammit, I left my lunch box in the car. What should I cook for lunch today? Should i wake up Lemon and ask him what he wants? Nah! He wouldn’t answer that question. Lime is going to day care today after 5 days. Will he be okay? Birthday! It’s mom’s birthday this weekend. I must order something. But wait! What will I order? Ouch, my back hurts! We must change this mattress. iPhone 6 is so cool. I will ask Lemon to buy one for me. Oh! I have 3 meetings this morning. What dress will I wear today? OMG! This cold. I must drink Dayquil before leaving today. Oops. I must not be late. Let me wake up.”

In no time I was all up working in the kitchen. Cold water ran through my fingers as I did the dishes and some cleaning. Lime and Lemon were sleeping obvious to the fact that another soul was working hard to make their day easier. Cooking, dishes and cleaning are just few of the tasks I have to do every morning.

And, how I wake up both the boys is a different story post altogether. Putting them through the morning routine, selecting their dress, getting them ready, and packing their lunch are other chores everyday.

How nice it would be if Lemon sleeps early and wakes up early as well. Just like me. Not a demand but I just wish he does. I know I am a smitten wife. But why not write a book on his laziness! No? Yes!

To all of you who did not go to work today or was just at home enjoying Friday – I hate you

MBA, finally!

It is over. The Masters. The MBA PM. Phew! I got an e-mail last Thursday that said “Congratulations, you have successfully completed all your MBA PM degree requirements…..“. I had a big grin in my face when I read that. My MBA PM is done and I just have one word to describe how I feel now: RELIEVED!!

It was online. I was never used to this study-mode before. It was hard. And, it got more tough after Lime. I hardly had the enthusiasm at times. But I did not give up. 

All this while, I had been reading a lot. Reading through magazines and journals to complete my assignments. ‘Essays’, ‘Research’ and ‘Assignments’ were the words I kept saying for the past few years. This degree has taught me a lot. I did take my own time but it’s all worth in the end. 

I am happy that I have now successfully sailed through those tough times ! And my recent career move (into project management) seems a perfect fit for my skills and passion :)

What a strange life it is

Each time I need a boost, I have been turning to my blog. This space means so much to me. But I have kept something away from this space for a long time now. As I type this, a lot of things are going on in my mind. All my thoughts are about my Mom.

She is a 58 year old woman and the best-est mom in the whole world. I have mentioned about her a lot of times in my blog. Some posts are here and here.

Couple of years ago, my mom came to the US of A to visit us. That was the time she had to travel alone out of country for the very first time. But she was all fine. She reached here safe and sound. The first 1.5 months she was here went away so quick. We had so much fun.

She got up one day with severe leg pains and lower back aches. We all initially thought it was due to all the hard work she had been doing at home and from traveling a lot. But then she got so weak one day and had difficulty walking. Ultimately, we had to prepone my parents tickets to go back to India and  get treatment. That decision was made after a lot of deliberation.

She was admitted to Vijaya hospital in Madras. The initial check up results left us completely shaken. Her blood glucose (sugar) levels were tested. And the reports from the lab confirmed a diabetic problem.   She had severe leg pains too. We were advised to consult a neurologist immediately. From then on, it had been a downhill.

The doctors first gave her insulin and got her sugar levels under control. A biopsy was done to diagnose the cause of her nerve pains in her legs. The results suggested that she might have a CIPD. I still do not know what the hell that is. She was discharged after her blood glucose levels were controlled and was given pain killers for her leg pains. She started getting better and was going back to work.

6 months passed. And then the leg pains started again. Based on advices from some of my parent’s friends, she was admitted to Malar hospital in Madras and all the tests were repeated again. Only to find Nothing. The doctors did not know what was causing the pains. One thing they knew for sure was that a bunch of nerves branching from the spinal cord to the lower part of the body were weak. A random urine test also revealed that she is losing protein in the urine.

I have been in a state of shock ever since. Mom and dad managed to come here this year and stay with us for few months. She is taking her medicines but there are no much improvements. Her blood glucose is under control. But we are not sure of her nerve problems. She can walk but needs support. She can go up and down the staircase but will have severe pains after.   

For what possible reason should my mom suffer like this?  For how long should she suffer with pains? She was supposed to be working now. She was supposed to get promotion at work after 30 years (more than 30yrs, actually!) of service. Instead, she was forced to take voluntary retirement. I hate all this. It has been 2 years now. And yet we don’t have a solution. We do not know what the cause is.

As of now, they are back in Madras. Mom still has her leg pains. We need to find a good Neurologist and figure out what line of treatment she needs. I am not sure what exactly I must be doing. I have been reaching out to friends to suggest some good doctors in Madras. Now, I want to reach out to all you bloggers. Please let me know of any good Diabetic doctor / Neurologist in the Madras area.

I am surprised I kept this away from this space for such a long time. Today I knew I couldn’t keep this any more. I sincerely hope one of the doctors diagnose the cause and treat her well. All you reading this post, please keep my mom in all your prayers. I want her to walk like before and have no pains.!